I survived
No, not the moderately entertaining series of novels that my daughter enjoys, and no, not 2018 as a whole. Although OK, yes, I did survive 2018. I survived a week with my two kids without my husband. Jim had to work the last few days of the year, and I had a two week break from work, so we decided it would be a good idea to go to Oregon and spend some time with my mom (Yaya), her boyfriend (Papa Mike), and his family.
I thought that it would be better to be with Yaya and Papa Mike, because then I'd have a good adult to child ratio (3:2), rather than if I stayed home with the kids by myself while Jim worked. And it's a really good theory, except, both my kids wanted to be physically connected to my body the whole time, with me giving them my undivided attention. They wanted little to do with Yaya and Papa Mike, and every time I'd pay attention to one kid, the whining and comparison would start - "But I want to play with you...", "But you played with her more already", "But I haven't even gotten to..."
My kids were on maximum whine frequency, and I was mentally and physically exhausted. The worst was when we'd just gotten back from breakfast with one of Mike's relatives that was at a tiny, loud diner. I had spent the entire meal with a 4 year old on my lap, and a 10 year old trying to get my attention to show me drawings she was making, while they both violently avoided having to talk to the other adults at the table. We got home and I locked myself in the bathroom to pee and to text my husband, telling him I was about to break down crying. Then, crying, shrieking screams from Qapla (the 4 year old) - "MOMMY! MOMMMMY!" I listened and tried to take slow deep breaths, as I heard both Yaya and Papa Mike try to talk to him, and he only screamed for me louder. We were supposed to go the pool later, and I was dreading taking a cranky Qapla and grouchy Aloha, trying to balance keeping Qapla alive (at 4 he can't swim on his own) and Aloha wanting me to go in the deep end watch her do tricks, and being resentful that I couldn't leave Qapla.
Fortunately, Qapla offered me a way out. "I don't want to go to the pool, I just want to stay here and cuddle." GREAT. We are both introverts, and were both super overstimulated. So we relaxed, cuddled, had a lot of screen time and a little bit of reading, and let Yaya take Aloha to the pool with one of her cousins. They had a great time, and so did we.
We were in Oregon for New Years, and instead of thinking forward to the new year, or reflecting on the old, I felt like a zombie. Going through the motions of entertaining the kids, and trying to explain why they couldn't eat 5 kit kats for breakfast.
But I made it through. Now I'm home, and Jim is getting the kids through bathtime, while I sit downstairs relaxing. There's a lot I'm trying to figure out in life, and it doesn't fit conveniently into a pre-packaged resolution. Yes, I'd like to lose 20 (or more) pounds this year, but I feel like setting a resolution like that sets me up for failure, and neglects to address the myriad of things happening in my world, the mountain of competing priorities. So I've decided that I'm going to write. So here it is, my blog! I'd like to document what's happening in my life, to try to at least put words to what I'm feeling and experiencing. At the least, it will get me writing more, which is something I'd like to work on.
More to Come...
Here are some of the things happening in my life that I may use this blog to give voice to:
-Parenting (Qapla 4, Aloha 10)
-Foster Parenting (Aloha 10)
-Work
-Health/Losing Weight/Feeling Better in my Body
-Keeping my house organized, clean, sane
Late Night Things I'm Googling/Pintresting
Sometimes before bed I have to mentally get everything out of my brain so I can sleep. That often involves searching for answers online to whatever topic du jour I'm pondering.
From Friday June 4th:
I thought that it would be better to be with Yaya and Papa Mike, because then I'd have a good adult to child ratio (3:2), rather than if I stayed home with the kids by myself while Jim worked. And it's a really good theory, except, both my kids wanted to be physically connected to my body the whole time, with me giving them my undivided attention. They wanted little to do with Yaya and Papa Mike, and every time I'd pay attention to one kid, the whining and comparison would start - "But I want to play with you...", "But you played with her more already", "But I haven't even gotten to..."
My kids were on maximum whine frequency, and I was mentally and physically exhausted. The worst was when we'd just gotten back from breakfast with one of Mike's relatives that was at a tiny, loud diner. I had spent the entire meal with a 4 year old on my lap, and a 10 year old trying to get my attention to show me drawings she was making, while they both violently avoided having to talk to the other adults at the table. We got home and I locked myself in the bathroom to pee and to text my husband, telling him I was about to break down crying. Then, crying, shrieking screams from Qapla (the 4 year old) - "MOMMY! MOMMMMY!" I listened and tried to take slow deep breaths, as I heard both Yaya and Papa Mike try to talk to him, and he only screamed for me louder. We were supposed to go the pool later, and I was dreading taking a cranky Qapla and grouchy Aloha, trying to balance keeping Qapla alive (at 4 he can't swim on his own) and Aloha wanting me to go in the deep end watch her do tricks, and being resentful that I couldn't leave Qapla.
Fortunately, Qapla offered me a way out. "I don't want to go to the pool, I just want to stay here and cuddle." GREAT. We are both introverts, and were both super overstimulated. So we relaxed, cuddled, had a lot of screen time and a little bit of reading, and let Yaya take Aloha to the pool with one of her cousins. They had a great time, and so did we.
We were in Oregon for New Years, and instead of thinking forward to the new year, or reflecting on the old, I felt like a zombie. Going through the motions of entertaining the kids, and trying to explain why they couldn't eat 5 kit kats for breakfast.
But I made it through. Now I'm home, and Jim is getting the kids through bathtime, while I sit downstairs relaxing. There's a lot I'm trying to figure out in life, and it doesn't fit conveniently into a pre-packaged resolution. Yes, I'd like to lose 20 (or more) pounds this year, but I feel like setting a resolution like that sets me up for failure, and neglects to address the myriad of things happening in my world, the mountain of competing priorities. So I've decided that I'm going to write. So here it is, my blog! I'd like to document what's happening in my life, to try to at least put words to what I'm feeling and experiencing. At the least, it will get me writing more, which is something I'd like to work on.
More to Come...
Here are some of the things happening in my life that I may use this blog to give voice to:
-Parenting (Qapla 4, Aloha 10)
-Foster Parenting (Aloha 10)
-Work
-Health/Losing Weight/Feeling Better in my Body
-Keeping my house organized, clean, sane
Late Night Things I'm Googling/Pintresting
Sometimes before bed I have to mentally get everything out of my brain so I can sleep. That often involves searching for answers online to whatever topic du jour I'm pondering.
From Friday June 4th:
- How to deal with whiny pre-teens
- How to get kids to play independently
- How to help your kids find their passion
- Ballet classes near me
Comments
Post a Comment